Essay #1

My day started early in the morning, as the clouds begin to open up and unblock the blazing sun. At that time, I was barely a freshman, starting my year at Channel Island High school. Once I arrived at school, I met up with a couple of my friends who I had for my P.E class. We met inside the lockers and talked about how boring class will be. As I sat on the bench, my friend Jessie pulled out a small white container that was inside her back pack. with curious, I asked her what was inside of it. She replied back to me saying “It’s a pill that makes you feel good, do you want one?” without hesitation I stared at her with fear because I didn’t want to seem like a wimp in front of everyone. In my mind, I was thinking of what could happen and questioning myself over and over again. As she handed me the two pills, I immediately took them and swallowed it. I never thought this was going to be my worst day of my life.

Our class was inside the gym playing basketball while my friends and I were goofing around and chatting. At that moment, my vision became blurry; I couldn’t see anyone. I began taking a few steps, but once I took those steps, I felt a sensation of numbness from my toes going up towards my throat. My head kept spinning as if I was on a rollercoaster with no brakes. My throat was closing up my airway, while I felt a tightness struck me to the point where I was gasping for air. My friend Jessie ran over to me yelling “What’s wrong?” Words couldn’t come out of my mouth. I felt paralyzed as if an evil present was controlling my body. I felt like I didn’t have legs, but yet I was walking in a way that wasn’t myself. She took me by the arm and walked me over to the water fountain so that I could take a sip of water. After I took a sip, I felt as if my mind exploded and my mouth kept blabbering about nonsense. The tone of my voice wasn’t mine, it was more like a scary tone, as though I was trapped in my body with no ability to talk in my way.

 The bell had rang; it was time to dress out and go into the lockers. As I was walking to the locker room, I completely started to laugh and say comments to people who were around me. Everyone who was there, were laughing but I didn’t really remember anything. It was more like a blur and a fast pace for me. Seconds passed, I completely blacked out. The feeling didn’t feel real; it felt like I was fading away into a pitch black tunnel with no sound or no conscious. As I woke up, I was laying on the bench while my friend Cassandra was helping me get up and open my locker. She then walked me to my next class because I didn’t know where I was at, nor was I walking straight.

As I went to my classes, I felt horrible because I felt a sharp pain in my throat that was killing me. In class, I couldn’t concentrate. The floor felt like waves. As I sat there, I kept putting my head down hoping the feeling would disappear. The emotions and fear were getting worse by the seconds. After the class was over, it was then time to go home. I waited in front of the school with my brother and his friend while my mom came and picked us up.  Once my mom came, I immediately jumped in the car fast, hoping she won’t notice anything strange going on with me. My mom kept on asking me “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” With guiltiness, I looked away and I told her “Yeah I’m okay”. This lie was hurting me inside in a way that I couldn’t look into my mother’s eyes again. When I got home, I ran to the house because I knew that my brother would know something was going wrong. As he saw my face, he yelled to my mom, “Mom, Tonya looks high!” It was true, I looked like a zombie. My pupils were big and my eyes were glossy. My eyes seemed as If I was scared.  My mom came to me and told me “You better not have done anything!” I looked at her and yelled back to her “No, I’m not!” The tension of the room was all on me. I ran to my room and slam the door. Time had passed, my mom had left to go to the store and I was stuck at home by myself.  I was laying down trying to calm down but an unexplained feeling captured me at that moment. My heart was racing fast, and I jumped up quick and noticed that I was shaking and shivering. My chest was hurting bad where I began to fall on the floor. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, as if I were dying. With fear, I ran outside quickly to get some fresh air. That is when I stopped and I said to myself “What the heck happened to me?”

Later at night, it was already time to go to bed. It was midnight and I was still awake unable to go to sleep. The drug was keeping me awake as well as torturing me with withdrawals that were scary. I was experiencing hot flashes, dizziness and paranoia. Hours past and it was already 3:00 a.m. The feeling was still there. I closed my eyes to try to fight it but I couldn’t. My neck felt stiff and my throat felt as if it was clogged up. The night felt like it was forever. I was hoping for it to be over but I didn’t get to sleep at all.

After having a sleepless night, I had a guilty conscious that was eating me up inside. I then walked into my mom room nervously and scared. My eyes became watery when she looked at me and asked me “What’s wrong?” I stared at her and I replied back “I took two pills yesterday”. Her face turned into shame and disappointment. I broke down and cried while I was telling her that I was sorry for what I had done. She started scolding me out of anger and agony. Therefore, I then went to her and hugged her. She told me not to ever do anything like that and I gave her my promise.

      This experience is significant to me because it made me change into a new person. I realize that bad choices can lead to consequences. Before I had this experience, I was the type of person who wanted to follow what other people would do which were bad things. I’m glad now that it happen because it taught me a lesson on not taking drugs or not following the crowd. I would never forget this day because it was horrifying.